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 Creator's creativity zone, all writers and creative people are welcome.

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Nebula Cana
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Number of posts : 330
Registration date : 2009-03-04

Character sheet
Name: Shishigami Jubei
Race: Arrancar.
Ranking: Decima/Cero Espada.

PostSubject: Creator's creativity zone, all writers and creative people are welcome.   Wed 09 Dec 2009, 3:22 am

As some of you may already know, and others may not, I am someone who wants to become a professional writer who illustrates their own work. I will not call myself a writer because I feel that I am not good enough yet to label myself as such. So let me begin by saying that I believe constructive criticism is important for any up and coming writer. After all, how can we improve if we do not know our mistakes? Sometimes we cannot see them from our own eyes, and so we must turn to others to point them out for us. You can learn a lot from other people, those who have been writing for years, and even by reading your favorite book!

I have seen some people who think writing a book or a novel is an easy job, but I am here to tell you it is not. You must have the skill to not only write a descriptive scene, a working plot that is interesting, but also create memorable characters filled with your feelings and make them work in the story. It is not simply putting some character in a bar and having them speak with another character, or awesome fight scenes. Do not get me wrong, fighting is often a big part of any good story, be they physical fights, spiritual ones, or just an internal struggle of the mind and emotions. Writing takes a lot of hard work, overwhelming effort and determination, and the resolve not to give up no matter how difficult the writers’ block consumes you.

With that said, I am opening this topic for any would-be writers to post their creations, writings, characters, powers, basically anything you made, and others can give constructive criticism on the work. They can tell you what they think about it, what they liked the best, which part was their favorite, what part was not so good, how they think you could improve it, all of that. Remember, this is made for people to improve, not for trolling asshats and flamers to bash someone’s work. So while you should give your honest opinion, do not be a douche.

I will start this off by posting a character I am working out, he is an Archangel called Sagittarius, and is supposed to be extremely powerful. So keep that in mind when looking at this. It is still a work in progress, so nothing is definite or finished as of yet. He is supposed to be opposite to what Angels are usually thought of as, instead a warrior angel. I am trying to portray him as a being with one wing dipped in blood and the other up in the light. Like those angels from the Revelations area of the Bible. Just tell me what you think of him, and feel free to post your own work here, anyone.

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Sagittarius is a small, weak appearing young boy with the exterior appearance of an eleven-year-old child. Standing at four feet and two inches, he is short enough to be several heads below most people.

Sagittarius is an Archangel of The Lord, making him an extremely powerful being. He is so powerful that just by perceiving his form, even through use of psychic power or precognition, will result in the blindness of that person. This is because the appearance of his natural visage is too overwhelming, and is capable of burning a person’s eyes from their sockets. However, closing one’s eyes will negate this effect. His true voice is so strong that it is capable of shattering glass. Despite that, a person with extraordinary power would be capable of safety withstanding his true appearance and voice. Because of the danger, and considering his role and position, Sagittarius usually assumes a form safe for humans to perceive. This accomplished by suppressing his true form into a minuscule sized sphere, along with his grace -the core of his being and the thing that makes him an angel- and wrapping matter around it. By doing so, he creates a body for himself, mimicking a human’s body.

He possesses a variety of supernatural, preternatural, and superhuman abilities. This includes, but is not limited to, Psychokinetic powers such as Telekinesis and the ability to read the mind of anyone physically near to him. He prefers to limit his mind reading ability to only names, as he believes that reading the constant flow of information from another person’s head is an annoyance.

The Telekinesis is an extraordinary one, capable of effortlessly lifting countless objects with mass and weight equal to a car into the air, and with complex movements. What is more is that he can toss them around with enough force to collapse buildings. It is strong enough to move large bodies of water from great distances, and create massive destruction by using it as a force against things within the surrounding area. He is proficient enough to use his Telekinesis to bend light photons -solar rays- and create massive beams or blast that can disintegrate matter. His control over this telekinesis is exceptional, allowing for precise attacks, generating shields, or affecting certain areas only.

Sagittarius is, in many senses of the word, immortal, as he is invulnerable to most forms of harm that would injure a mortal, and does not age. However, he can still be harmed, but only killed through a certain method, or with extreme force. The latter of which would require the damage produced by a nuclear bomb, or the same amount of harm built up over several injuries, and more than likely requiring a finishing blow after the fact.

He possesses the ability to exercise most demons simply by touching his palm to the forehead of the possessed, and can cause instant unconsciousness in humans through a similar action. Considering this ability, his touch is also extremely agonizing to demons, inducing not only incredible pain to them, but possibly terrible wounds and burns as well. Of course, Sagittarius is able to touch others without any of this happening, it is just a matter of whether he decides to use his power or not. He can also vanish and materialize from thin air, bend time, and teleport himself and other through time, or to another place. This is not without its limitations though as, although he can change events of time, those events will always have the same result as the original ones because he cannot change what already has been. As his power is vast, he is capable of manipulating reality to great lengths. Moreover, as an Angel, Sagittarius is capable of bringing other creatures back from the dead, and even dragging them out of Heaven or Hell. Consequently, he is able to drag a living creature, physically or spiritually, to Heaven or Hell.

Sagittarius never gets tired no matter how long he stays awake or fights, only requiring sleeping if he is badly injured. He is also immune to the negative effects of alcohol, cannot become intoxicated, and is immune to the effects of drugs and natural disease. He is able to enter the dreams of others and speak with them during the time they are asleep.

_________________
Pre-Release:
Cero User
Weak Hierro
Sonido User
Strongest Resureccion

Post Release:
Cero Master
Strongest Hierro
Sonido Master (Varies on your transformation)
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PostSubject: Re: Creator's creativity zone, all writers and creative people are welcome.   Sun 13 Dec 2009, 10:17 pm

Well, Fibi you becoming a writer makes perfect sense, as you an awesome rper as it is. I like your idea of criticism for no man has ever done anything great without first being critized, mocked, and berated, as well as being congratulated and celebrated. So let me first tell you good job, putting this up in the first step is great, no matter if it tanked you should be applauded for trying at all. Second you made quite a powerful character, so I am still having problems imagining who would be an enemy to this guy, other angels, powerful demons, third party forces like Greek monsters, or dieties from other religions/cultures? I know the plan was not to tell me about well this series(if it is one) but it would be nice to know alot about this world and its inhabitants. Although this may be a mute point in the Bible, it is never mentioned that an angel is able to bring back the dead, and furthermore, can send or return somebody to Heaven or Hell, as it is stated that once someone has gone to one or the other it is impossible for them to ever to go to the other realm. And would not dragging someone to hell if they were meant to go to heaven conflict, with the Almighty's judgement. This may be an interesting part of your series (if there is one). I don't care if you decide to screw the rules, thats fine, its your series, but in short I like you chcaracter and idea and I am looking forward to yours, and I will showcase some of mine later.
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PostSubject: Re: Creator's creativity zone, all writers and creative people are welcome.   Wed 16 Dec 2009, 5:06 am

Aevum-Latin for life, Aevum is the force of magic and power in the world of Humus, equivocal with Ki, Chi, Chakra, Reiryoku, etc. The people of this world use it in a variety of ways, to increase product yields by Cultors or planters, by directing the Aevum produced in nature and redirecting the wasted back into plants. A very similar process is used to heal by doctors or Vigoratus, by redirecting this life force into wounds to increase healing rates, or generally into a person to give them energy. Construos or builders use it strengthen buildings made of wood, by shaping, restoring and altering wood, to superior quality then what we have. There are many other types of users of Aevum to make a world where mechanics have slowed down to mid 1850s and a mix of things not invented and some things we don't have invented like X ray vision glasses made by altering the Aevum in the skin, muscles and organs to see bones. Many animal inhabit Aevum including some real world ones like Lions, Tigers and Bears, oh my I forgot to mention there are also classic Dungeon and Dragons esque creatures, Devils, Demons, and Dragons, among others.

Back to Aevum, Aevum is the force of the planet, and the force of life, every living creature creates it more depending on its complexity, size, intelligence, etc. There is ambient Aevum in the air produced by plants, animals and humans that are let out to keep balance with Nature. The most prodigious and most complicated caste of life in Mundus is the warrior caste or the people who use Aevum as a means of fighting, these are the broadest classifications.

Gladius-Sword, Users who use swords or other melee weapons as a means to channel Aevum into an offensive and defensive power. There are many advanced versions of this basic class which I have not though of yet.

Magus-Magic, Users who use Aevum and turn it into a means of fighting. They learn to harness the elements, and to shape magic into a versatile weapon.

One of the many sub classifications of this are Pactums- These users of creatures as a means of collecting Aevum, fighting with them, and even assimilating them for strength. The philosophy of packs and man to do dog relationship is often the case.

Inflecto-Bow, Inflecto's not only use bows and arrows, but guns, equipment like traps, grenades, etc. Aevum is put into these machines and is used to trigger, empower, and decide what each does, a single grenade, could cause freezing, a fire, or jolt of electricity. The possibilities are endless.

There are many more and these are the basic ones I put down right now, you guys all know these are rip offs of every rpg ever so yeah I know.

There is a much more sinister side of this that is forbidden, called Letum, or death, it is the killings or people for the Aevum they contain and is expressly forbidden for it being unethical, ruins the environment and is far too powerful for any person to control, much less dangerous.

Now here are some characters. The storyline would take 4 years, and this is a video game, so the characters would grow from 13 to 17. In the country of Fuimus, names are given to children when they turn six depending on their traits. The main characters birthplace is in Mellis, a quiet, cliché quiet happy home with few dangers.

Cerno- The son of Dolus and grandson of Fatum, the cities oldest and a very well known family. Cerno is a character who like many is confused on what he is meant to do in this world, trained by his father and grandfather to be a Gladius, Cerno's style of fighting is brash, straightforward is very powerful way, using Aevum with little finesse but with much power, similar to Goku, Ichigo, and Naruto, Cerno becomes capable of using techniques made of this "magic" and in very damaging ways like big attacks, like a beam, slash or ball of energy. He has special power coming down from his family called Ventus it allows them to wield the wind on an amazing level, and eventually one with it

Dolus- Cerno's father and an adventure himself, unknown to most of the people in his town, he once had his own adventure but that is another story, many time during Cerno's journey will Cerno be recognized be as Dolus's son and get special treatment from people. Dolus was famous for cleverly using skill in his fighting and tries to pass this on to his son. He and his father have the Ventus ability.

Fatum- Dolus's father and Cerno's grandfather, Fatum also had his won adventure and made the town of Mellius as a way to hide away from the world's problems. Immensely skilled in the ways of Aevum, Fatum is one of the most powerful beings in Mundus but he hides this and his Ventus ability in his small town underneath his aged exterior.

Constanter-Cerno's best friend and a skilled Magus, Constanter learned his skills from his grandfather Gnarus after the "accident" that happened to his parents. It is Constanter who snaps Cerno out of his delirium and aids Cerno's on his journey to rescue Venia.

Gnarus-Constanter's grandfather who accompanied and friend of Fatus on his journey, a very powerful Mau he teaches Constanter.

Mico- A red headed girl who is a very capable Inflecto, she has had a crush on Cerno since she was nine and makes a very compelling choice to aid Cerno’s on his quest to save Venia.

Venia- Close friend of Cerno and Constanter and to a lesser extent Mico, Venia never really trained in any offensive arts and trained to become a Vigoratus. She and Cerno began to get close year by year with their relationship being somewhere between friend and love at the beginning of the story. She is Aevum literally she is the representation of Mundus in human form sent to do something; even she does not know this. She is kidnapped by warriors of the Validus nation. Cerno and the others chase after her days later, not knowing her special heritage.

Validus- An environmentally ruined nation far away from Fuimus, it has a strong militia and is the forerunner of improvement in technology with the development of the steam engine underway. Their leader Desperatus a user of Letum, meaning every time he kills he becomes stronger. He using a strong searching technique found Venia in Mellius and sent his troops after her. His reasons for wanting her are unknown.

This is only the crust of what is to come, I will write the opening scene and more back-story and info about this world
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Nebula Cana
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Number of posts : 330
Registration date : 2009-03-04

Character sheet
Name: Shishigami Jubei
Race: Arrancar.
Ranking: Decima/Cero Espada.

PostSubject: Re: Creator's creativity zone, all writers and creative people are welcome.   Sun 20 Dec 2009, 8:58 pm

I like it, Flow, personally think it is interesting. Though I will post a full thing about this and what I like of it in a while, when I am free to do so. I also will answer your questions from before.

_________________
Pre-Release:
Cero User
Weak Hierro
Sonido User
Strongest Resureccion

Post Release:
Cero Master
Strongest Hierro
Sonido Master (Varies on your transformation)
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